16 and Pregnant... and Bullied into Obstetric Interventions
Wednesday, December 1, 2010 at 11:27PM 
By Jeanette C. Florio
I was 16 when I got pregnant, which was completely unexpected. I had 3 prior miscarriages and at the most recent one, I was told I’d never be able to carry a pregnancy to full term due to some complications with my uterus being narrow or something (they never went into detail with me). My boyfriend at the time was also told he would never have kids due to low sperm count. We never assumed it would happen, though I can say we both wanted it to happen. I moved in with Billy after my father started doing drugs again when I was 15. It took my father 2 weeks before he noticed I was gone. Soon after I moved in I got a good paying office management job. 6 months latter I was pregnant. Of course at 16 and pregnant every one told me to abort the child right away, I was too immature to care for him. The only person by my side was my mother. 5 months into my pregnancy she took me and my boyfriend to Las Vegas and signed for me to get married.
My OBGYN was great. Due to some problems with my medical insurance, I wasn’t able to see him until I was 18 weeks along. During my first visit I was so ecstatic, just to be somewhere that pregnancy was accepted. The staff was amazing, very kind and I grew to love each of them. My OBGYN was a young doctor fresh from medical school. He was able to tell me the first day I met him that I was having a little boy! He was kind and gentle, answering all questions I had but at the same time keeping our visits brief.
The weeks went on and by the time I was 6 months along I developed a very bad kidney infection that spread to my urinary tract and bladder causing my uterus to contract due to irritation. I was hospitalized for 3 days. The rest of my pregnancy went pretty uneventful until the very end. By 36 weeks I have having braxton hicks contractions so bad I was put on a mild form of bed rest. The Tuesday of my 39th week I felt a pop in my belly. No fluid came out, the baby was moving fine, so I thought nothing of it. I went to my appointment on Friday as usual, When Dr. T. noticed my fluid was VERY low. To be precise, I only had 2cm of fluid inside the amniotic sac. My mucus plug was intact and the baby’s heart rate was fine, and his conclusion was simply the amniotic sac had somehow gotten torn, possibly the baby’s fingernail or toenail, and was unable to repair itself and leaked out into my uterus, basically wrapping the baby in the sac with the fluid outside him. He instructed me to go grab some food and my bag and meet him at the hospital in a ‘little while’.
I arrived at the hospital that night where I sat and waited for another patient to be put in a room, then whisked away to a labor and delivery room. My husband hadn’t even arrived yet by the time they had a urine sample, changed me into a gown, had a iv in, running fluids, antibiotics and pitocin, and had me hooked up to fetal monitors. I couldn’t…move. Period. If I as so much reached for my cell phone the monitors would start beeping and a flustered nurse would come in to move them around. My doctor came in about a hour later. He told me they would give me cervidil and an epidural. I wasn’t even dilated yet at all. I repeatedly told them I did not want an epidural under any circumstances. I hated being numb it was a scary feeling for me. Yet, they told me I had to, one nurse even taunting me calling me, “One of those bad moms”. I was basically forced into a ball crying, begging for them not to do it.
The epidural only took to one side and I was terrified. My worst fear was to become paralyzed and now I was living it. I could eat or drink, I couldn’t move, I just had to sit there….for 36 LOOOONG hours.
It was 11pm the night before Super Bowl Sunday. My husband and OB kept making jokes about how they were going to leave me to watch the game if I didn’t have the baby prior. I must have cried more throughout my labor then ever. My doctor looked at me and said “You’re at 2cm after a day and a half. You’re not progressing. You can lay here until Tuesday and not even get to 6. You need a c-section”
The baby’s heart rate was fine. He was head down and dropped so low if you cut my cervix open he would come right out. The only thing not cooperating was my cervix.
“You’ll have to knock me the heck out before you do a c section” I told him. I looked at me really hard and walked out. I thought I had pissed him off for a minute. He came back in and said “The anesthesiologist says he’ll do it, only because your not swollen or anything and there’s a very low risk for aspiration”
WHAT!?
I had 5-7 medical professional in my tiny little room telling me I HAD to have a c section. I was tired, hungry, and they told me I wouldn’t have the strength to push even if I became fully dilated. Everyone was against me. I said yes.
My son was born at 11:24pm January 31st 2009, 7lbs 7oz and 19 3/4 inches long. We named him Rebel Gregor (Gregor after his Scottish Godfather). He had a full head of dark hair and dark eyes.
I woke up in so much pain, it was like something out of the movies. Everything was blurry and all I could feel was a nurse mushing my swollen, tender tummy like it was bread dough. My husband came in and asked if I wanted to see a picture of the baby. I said “No!!!….If I see him I’ll cry and if I cry it’ll hurt”. I was in so much pain, but one thing I noticed was the hated epidural was gone (YEY!).
They wheeled me in my recovery room were I spent the minimum time dealing with evil anti-breastfeeding nurses who seemed to want me to go into a panic attack. They brought my baby in with a bottle of enfamil stuck in his isolate just to aggravate me (both me and my husband told them several times NOT to give him pacifiers or formula PERIOD.) Sunday afternoon my husband and OB went to watch the game and gave me some alone time with Rebel. The nurse came in again to “do some tests” and never brought my baby back. 5 hours latter my husband went into the nursery and just wheeled him the heck out of there no ifs, ands, or buts.
When they brought me diapers, they brought me packages of formula. I probably went home with a couple hundred dollars of that stuff.
I wish I would have listened to my husband and not to the doctors and just given myself time. Heck, he pushed me to breastfeed and I made it a whole year! I live with my decision to have given up everyday. I’m glad the first decision, not to abort, was the right one. How many 17 year olds do you know who cloth diaper, breast feed, and live organically/naturally? I’d assume that would be a very mature one :-)
Reader Comments (20)
What an ordeal, i am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are healing and that you are so totally in love with Rebel. I wish you the best of luck and enjoy your baby boy. I was not a teen Mom but had several friends who were so i feel very close to those who are teen Mom's. It is one of the most rewarding things in the world along with the hardest.
Sarah
Thank you. Thank you for finally giving me hope about the younger generation becoming mothers. I am very sorry for your birth rape, and honestly I think you should seek legal advice, there was never "informed" comcent for the epidural, a bunch of people forcing you to say yes. Is not informed concent.
Dear Jeanette,
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that! What a scary situation to be in, the hospital staff completely took advantage of you- and that is absolutely not ok at ALL! You are amazingly strong women to recognize that what happened to you was wrong, and for you to push forward and do what is best for you and your son- big congrats on breastfeeding for a year!
Most of all thank you for sharing your story! Just by talking about this with others, you are helping other mommas heal from their emotional pain. And you are planting a seed for future moms and care providers to remember-- so it doesn't have to happen to someone else. Most of Jeanette, you are not alone on your journey of healing, we are here for you, and support you!! Speaking as a mom who had an unneeded c-section for my first baby, it is so helpful to be able to reach out to other moms who have been-there-done-that. Thank you!
Good for you, to succeed in breastfeeding after all that. I wish more young mothers were like you! You sound like a wonderful young woman.
Wow! I am amazed by your story. I'm sorry for your awful c-section experience. :( To put such intense pressure on any laboring mama (especially a very young one) is beyond terrible. Sounds like the doc had money on the game and you were interrupting his viewing experience. The fact that you were able to breastfeed is beyond amazing. I know you would never see a nursing mama on "16 & Pregnant". Good for you mama! And best of luck for a VBAC someday should you be blessed with another child. :)
My mom was barely 17 when she had her first child, waaaay back in 1970. She insisted she wanted a natural birth (no meds) but was pretty much forced into a gas mask. I think doctors tend to assume younger mothers simply don't know what they want or need. Many doctors already have that "god complex" anyway, and it's sad that it's so exacerbated when it comes to young moms. When it came time for me to be born, some 4 years later, my mom was still pretty young, but she had experience under her belt and was no longer a "teen mom," and she flat out refused that dreaded gas mask. She had me all natural AND breast fed me well past a year. She had such a sense of accomplishment.
Stand strong in your beliefs. You can be a great source of knowledge and encouragement for other young girls who face teen pregnancy and difficult choices.
I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. It must have been so hard to have been so happy and trusting your doctor and then be treated like that in the end. I too got pregnant at 16 and had him at 17. I had wanted a normal birth but ended up with the typical hospital birth minus the induction and c-section, but I too was able to nurse my son exclusively for a year without a drop of formula even through my senior year of high school. Unfortunately most of the others moms I went to school with never even gave it a try :/ You are doing great for your little one and I just know you will have a better experience if you ever have another!
What an awful ordeal. I haven't experienced teen pregnancy personally, but my cousin did. She was lucky to have a low intervention vaginal birth but the way she was treated was appalling, especially postnatally. She has written her story on my blog if anyone is interested. Her story is especially poignant as her daughter died of SIDS at 6 weeks (though that story isn't detailed in the birth story).
http://totallyaddictedtobirth.wordpress.com/2010/11/14/the-story-of-sarah-from-the-belly-to-the-end/
That's awful that you were taken advantage of that way. I'm so sorry. Have you visited Solace for Mothers? It's a forum for women who've experienced traumatic births.
I'm going to disagree that this was all because you were so young. It was probably worse because you were young (I'm thinking specifically of the doctor telling you the anesthesiologist could knock you out), but unfortunately this is an all-too-common occurrence in hospitals. That, of course, doesn't diminish how terrible it feels when it happens...
You have nothing to be ashamed of for your birth experience. "Bullied" is right.
Thanks guys for your support. My son ended up a absolutly amazing child and I'm so glad I have him in my life. I was able to get my GED and I'm starting college in January to train to become a LVN! (Maybe one day I can take that nurses job? That would drive her nuts LOL!) He breastfed for his whole first year, then the day after his birthday he started refusing. If he wanted to keep breastfeeding I'd be breastfeeding today! I just wanted to say thank you for the support and love and hopefully someone will read my story and be able to make good choices in their own birth!
I'm so sorry for what you went through, but I have to say that I am giving you like 10 thumbs up for being able to breastfeed after all that trauma. You're so strong! Congratulations on your beautiful baby, and best wishes to you & your husband in the future. I hope any future pregnancies you might have are smooth & sweet, and that your future births are everything you hope for. Thanks for sharing your story.
Thank you so much for your story, Jeanette. It was gripping and moving and wonderful and scary. I'm so pleased to hear a teen mom's voice!
Hey, I was pretty much in your shoes I had my 1st at 16, I actually slapped the ob who was trying to force the epidural on me. I ended up having my daughter the way I wanted but they didn't make it pleasant for me. Since then I have had two home births and I'm doing my 3rd home birth come feb. I was very happy to read the end of your story because your right most young mothers I know are very selfish and were all about what they wanted instead of what is best for baby. But I take great pleasure in knowing I wasn't the only mother at 16 who parented naturally! I am 22 now in school to be a midwife! I have a big beautiful family of a 5 year old girl 3 year old boy, 2 year old boy and soon to be newborn boy, and all were born naturally,breast fed, cloth diapers the works lol I wish you the best and thank for sharing your experience!!
I am also sorry you went through this. Women twice your age often can't resist this kind of pressure either. I wound up with a C section for my first birth as well (and then had 8 vaginal deliveries.)
My oldest daughter had a baby at 16, took care of it herself and nursed it. She had a long but progressive labor for which she had no medication. I had gotten the midwife who caught my last baby to take care of her, but as it turned out the midwife's covering doctor was there instead. He was aware I was disappointed the midwife was out of town and tried to prove he was as good as a midwife. He wound up letting me catch the baby. She didn't get to choose her birth position as I think she would have with the midwife, but overall it was a good hospital birth.
We had a few struggles over getting the baby away from the nursery nurses and back to her, but I stayed until I had accomplished this.
I am sure that with the right support you could have given birth naturally. But I don't think anyone else would have done better in the situation you faced.
Shame on the doctor and those nurses for treating you as if you didn't have a right to make choices about your birth!
Hoorah for you for nursing your baby.
Like many of us, you have experience to bring with you to the next birth. When that happens, don't forget to tell us all about it!
Susan Peterson
"I had 5-7 medical professional in my tiny little room telling me I HAD to have a c section. I was tired, hungry, and they told me I wouldn’t have the strength to push even if I became fully dilated. Everyone was against me. I said yes."
That's not very different from having 5-7 policemen in an interrogation room trying to coerce a false confession out of you. Scary!!
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
wow nice to hear another teen mother share her story im sixteen my daughter was born in september and she was a planned homebirth and ended up being a natural hospital birth, im breastfeeding and i live a natural/organic lifestyle. im sorry that you ended up with an unnecesarean.
I had my 1st child at 17 years old, I also was married, breastfed over 2 years, coth diaper, natual mama :)
In the hospital I was told over and over I had to get different interventions, and I had to get an epidrual, and I fought them and stood my ground. It was very frustrating and I thank my husband and father for being there and forcing them to listen to me and honor my requests.
I'm 30 now, and just had my 2nd child at home. There was no way, at any age, I was ever going to subject myself to a hospital birth if not nedessary.
I'm so sorry you were not allowed to have the birth you wanted. I was also treated like I had no idea what my body was doing or how to be a good mother, but I was not about to take it. I have got my mom's stubborn streak lol
Wow. Congrats to you and your hubby on getting past the pain and being able to breastfeed!!! You are truly a very strong woman! I think you are(were) one of those rare teens who is more mature then most adults! As for being pressured into OB inventions, I know how you feel(to a point). The birth of my daughter was a horrid ordeal. My hubby has agreed that with our next one we will cloth diaper and go for a homebirth(yay!). I had wanted to do both but he was fully convinced that a hospital was better(silly man). After seeing how much pain and ppd it caused, he is now all for supporting whatever birth I want, lol. Again, congrats to you both on a healthy baby!
Also, to any of the mommies who do cloth diaper or live organically/naturally, I'm very interested in learning about it, but don't really know where to start, any advice?
Emily
You are so clearly trying so hard. Good for you!! You already know you have a mountain to climb, but you're doing it! If more young moms (and moms in general) used cloth and breastfed, so much money would be saved, not only by the families, but in general. I'm sure you know the health benefits to both you and your son. (Amazing name, by the way.)
Use your story to help encourage others to learn about birth as much as they can and to stand their ground!
Well Jeanette, you and your husband are rare individuals who can be very proud of who you are at the ripe old age of 17. Your experiences of child birth are unfortunate that is for sure, and I would not like to think it was because the professionals in charge were patronising you because of the number of years you have been on the planet. It does happen. Giving birth and raising children is the most wonderful thing for Mum and Dad because we found that it changes your whole perspective on life and you become a more complete, self confident person. I was determined to breast feed but my fist baby refused initially, but then when she got the hang of it she turned out to be a grazer..... ouch! Also nice to see you are using cloth diapers I was a prefold cloth diapers mum, I really think it is the best way. I have to admit that at times I would use the odd disposeable when out in public! All the very best of wishes to you