Annmarie's Stories-- Cesarean, CBAC and CBA2C

Share 

I had a c-section after 22 hours of labor (3 of that pushing) with my oldest daughter. She was 9lbs 1oz and I was told that she was stuck because my pelvis was too small. When I got pregnant again I searched for an OB who would let me VBAC. I found one not far from me and was very excited. I had read a ton of books and had talked to a lot of educators in the health field. I had great support from my family, found a doula and was rearing to go.

Then when I was about 34 weeks I had the head of OB (who was a doc with my practice) tell me that I was obese and would suffocate my daughter to death if I had a vaginal birth. I calmly left the office and called another OB with that practice who I trusted. I should have known they would pull ranks. The OB I called apologized but would say nothing else. At my next appointment a week later they sent in one of the midwives to tell me they’d decided I could not VBAC and wanted to schedule a c-section before I left the office. They said the baby was big for my dates and that I’d never get her out if I couldn’t get my oldest daughter out.

I got my medical records that day and transferred to a hospital about an hour away. The midwives were wonderfully supportive. Unfortunately I did end up with another c-section but it was for a medical reason (my daughter’s heart rate was very high for an extended period of time). She weighed 7lbs 7oz. The midwife told me “oh honey, I know you could have done that!”.

When I became pregnant a third unexpected but wonderful time I resigned myself to having another c-section. I had friends telling me to buck up, I knew what to expect, it wasn’t that bad. They thought I was crazy for wanting a vaginal birth. “Just install the zipper” one said after my first child. But it made me incredibly sad. Being 35, this would be my last baby and I would never get to have the birth experience I wanted. I had friends who were induced with pitocin just so they could have the OB they wanted and who had no problems and were home two days later. I wanted that. I didn’t want the spinal; the catheter; the laying in bed for almost 24 hrs; the problems with breastfeeding because I was bloated with IV fluids and my  nipples didn’t pop. I wanted to pull my baby onto my stomach and have him crawl to my nipple. I wanted to be the first person my baby saw instead of a bunch of docs and nurses - strangers to him and to us (for the most part). And all the other wonderful, gross, healing things that I read about in Ina May Gaskin’s books. Actually I almost did just up and go to the Farm but I couldn’t - financially and other reasons prevented that.

I believe moms should labor safely and if that’s at home with a midwife that’s great. If that’s in a hospital, fine. C-sections have their place, I will never deny that. But slating a woman for a section just because docs are too afraid or you want a certain date or you want a certain doc who’s going to be on vacation is just too much for me.