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I had my first child by c-section, I was 41 weeks when my water broke, so we did the right thing and went to L&D to be checked and since I was GBS positive I agreed to induction which meant pitocin.   Well, pitocin is a bitch as you know and the epidural that the anesthesiologist tried to give me for what seemed like hours, twice, while I was vomiting and contracting never actually worked despite 10 pokes to find my epidural space.   Fortunately (not) my vein collapsed after about 15 hours and they had to re-do another hep-lock and start at zero.   I think when the nurses saw me sleeping they assumed my epidural was working, it was not, I simply was no longer in such horrible discomfort from the pitocin anymore.  After 24 hours we talked about a c-section and of course at the time was so exhausted and afraid of the pitocin, well that plus the GBS status and having leaked amniotic fluid for 24 hours, I consented.   He was born 9lbs 6oz, 22”, and cried until he was in my arms in the recovery room.  It was a boring procedure until my son was born, except after he was delivered I remember the doctors getting very very quiet and I remember a voice in my head saying “You can stay or you can go.”  I didn’t care, I felt like I was floating in warm blue water and it didn’t matter what happened to me.   Turns out I lost about 1L of blood at that time.

After the surgery I was fine, needed nothing more then ibuprofen and that only for a short time.   I nursed my son easily, well, with the help of a nipple shield (he has oral insensitivity, it’s him really and he needed that the whole time we nursed for 12 months).   I had little to no residual pain.  In short I had an awesome outcome to my surgery, except the fact that I didn’t care scares the crap out of me.

When 9 months after the surgery I was pregnant again, I started looking more into what to do, especially after the 6 weeks appointment where my surgeon said “Three c-sections are the limit, after that there is too much scar tissue.”   I started reading about the increased rate of complications with consecutive c-sections including maternal morbidity, and I have in my heart that I will have 4 children not 3, which is one more then the limit.

I was lucky, between when I had my first son and 18 months later the hospital changed it’s policy and allowed VBACs again, the hospital’s insurance had before dictated that VBACs were to only be available when they had an anesthesiologist on site 24 hours a day.   Really, they need to have that anyway as it’s a regional trauma center, but that’s something else.   If it were not for that my options are to drive for an hour or more to a VBAC in a hospital, and being who I am I have trouble both with the idea of being in danger with a uterine rupture but putting a midwife through that at my home.

We got a doula, I walked as much as I could during the pregnancy, I was somehow not GBS positive that time, and 18 months to the day I broke my water with my first I went into labor.   It was the 4th of July, we had thunderstorms and rain for the first time in a year that morning and lightening had hit some buildings in town.   I called before 7am but the doctor on call was from a different clinic and one with a high rate of intervention (ventouse), I declined and called back after 7am when those on call change over and got one of my clinic’s doctors as I had to be managed by a doctor and not a midwife.  Of course as being really a first time laboring mom went to the hospital too early and was not progressing despite being 4cm, so the doctor sent me home for a nap with Ambien on board.   I woke up vomiting, which is my signal for active labor, and we trekked back to the hospital.   I was progressing and had to be continuously monitored, I had to have a saline lock (change of policy), and got to 6 cm after many hours and adequate contractions, my doula and husband, bless their heart, tried to talk me out of an epidural but at that point I knew that there were many hours left and a long way to go so I got an epidural.   Of course, less then an hour after the epidural I was involuntary pushing, and the nurse told me to not push and breath through it as I was, according to her, only at 9cm, so I did my best for 2 hours.   I think the doctor had gone home for a break and for fireworks (and who could blame her?), and when she got back I was 9cm with a lip which she pushed out of the way and had me actively pushing.   After about 1 hour 20 minutes I pushed my second son, 10lbs 5oz, 23” out, no shoulder dystocia, only 2nd degree tearing at that, at just before midnight.   It was a boring, normal, birth and it was what I wanted - I was at no time near death and I cared that I would be there.

This pregnancy I am lucky, there are 5 CNMs in the clinic that I go to, same clinic, they are now allowing midwives to follow VBACs, and they and the hospital have a lot more experience assisting women with VBACs.   It’s not all puppies and roses, they took a chance with me since I was having another child 18 months after my first c-section and I had not responded to pitocin, this time I am going to be 38 and the group has to decide if they will allow me to remain pregnant after 40 weeks (standard care is delivery by 40 weeks), and I have a history of going past 41 weeks.   But because the clinic I go to works as a team, they have a unified vision of what pregnancy, labor and delivery is or should be, they can treat me the same no matter who is on call, and because they work as a group there was no rush to have me deliver before I went into labor on my own nor before the holiday.

That’s it, it wasn’t earth shattering, it was a victory more for my husband then me in some ways as he is still in awe, but for me it was something that millions of women have been through, a boring birth (we want boring).   I am thrilled I avoided more adhesions, there were some from the surgery I did have and even during this pregnancy I felt some breaking up.   I don’t want to put myself at risk because I know that puts my family at risk, and I still have so many children in my heart.   I have been very lucky, far more lucky then most women who have had a c-section, heck even my surgery was a “good” one.   I expect this pregnancy to remain boring and my birth this time to, again, be very boring.   I’m okay with that.