Hannah's Story- 10 lbs., 9 oz.- Home

10 lbs., 9 oz.

23" inches

"Home!"

Mother's Height: 5' 10"

How was your pregnancy? Pregnancy was wonderful, once we got through the first trimester. I had classic "all-day" morning sickness and lost some weight the first trimester. I had been looking forward to being pregnant for so long and I was rather disappointed in how cruddy I felt that first trimester. It also took me a while to allow myself to believe in the pregnancy (even though there was no doubting my intuition) as I had had a miscarriage a few months prior.
 
The rest of the pregnancy was wonderful- I LOVED being pregnant. I got pregnant a bit overweight, so it was hard on my body carrying around so much weight, and I had my days, but overall, it was a glorious time!

How did you feel about your upcoming birth? Very excited! Slightly nervous because of the unknown. I was so happy to be having a homebirth, I was ready! I knew that everything would be fine- I had no fears of the "what-if's".

Description of your birth experience:

Wonderful! I had an incredible care team! I had the freedom to move as I wished, eat what and when I wanted, do what I wanted, etc. There were no rules or someone telling me what to do. My doula (also one of my best friends) was so supportive and gentle in reminding me to relax and go with the flow. My midwife was quiet, giving me the space to do my thing.
 
Contractions were about 10 minutes apart and not reliable when I went to bed. I woke up the next morning with contractions at 5 minutes apart and quite a bit stronger. I wasn't sure if this was it- although I guess I knew, but I didn't want to set myself up for it not being "the real thing". Labor stopped mid-morning when my husband and I got into an argument (which made me even more angry with him!). Labor started up again after about an hour. I called my doula about 5:30 that evening. When she arrived an hour later, I was so excited to see her that labor stopped once again. We went out for a chilly spring walk to get things going again. Came back, talked a bit, had a snack, but still no contractions. I decided to head upstairs and be alone so I could get my mind focused on labor. Contractions started shortly thereafter. We called our midwife about 10 p.m., knowing it would take her at least an hour to get here. A little while after she arrived, I asked to be checked of progress, and much to my dismay, she announced that I was 2 centimeters along. This was the hardest time for me during labor- I felt so defeated! I had been working for 19 hours, I was tired and tired of the contractions, yet I was only just begining.
 
I labored by myself for several hours while everyone else tried to get some sleep. I would sit in the rocking chair and relax during the breaks, and then get up to sway my hips for the contractions. Laying down was terribly uncomfortable, so I got whattever rest I could in the rocking chair. At this point, laboring alone is all I wanted.
 
I eventually got into the birth pool that we set up in our bedroom- it was wonderful. It wasn't that it miraculously took away the pain, because it didn't, but it did allow me to stay on top of the contractions. It was much more comfortable. It was hard, I was tired. I was ready to be done. I thought about asking to go to the hospital, knowing that that is not what I wanted, but also being at the point where I didn't think I could go on.
 
I hesitantly asked to be checked again- this was the do or die point. If I wasn't where I thought I should be, that was it, I was going to the hospital (I had decided in my head). I was scared of what the answer could be.  8 centimeters. Still not what I wanted, but I could work with that. And I did, one contraction at a time.
 
Shortly after, I felt a little pushy. My midwife checked my progress and said that I could push as I felt I needed to- to follow my body's cues. I did, and it felt wonderful. The first contraction I pushed through, I did the "scream"- my doula gently guided me on how to push with my body- to save that energy and put it towards pushing my baby out. Next contraction was much more effective as I also remembered what I had learned about the Bradley Method.
 
Everytime I pushed, I pushed to make it my last. I was DONE! I pushed harder than I ever thought I could. It seemed to be taking forever- why wasn't this baby coming out!? We soon saw my bag of waters protruding- my water was still intact. This slowed things down, but in the end, I think it was so much better for my baby. I don't remember her decent, I just remember pushing with all that I had. What seemed like an eternity was really only a little over an hour. Finally, her head was out and my midwife told me to keep pushing to get the rest of her born.
 
I couldn't believe it! There was my baby! The whole time during labor I was so focused on the task at hand that I couldn't think of my baby- yes, I knew we were having a baby, but I couldn't get my head around it, I was too busy with my contractions!
 
I held my little girl- she wasn't crying, just staring at me. I had no idea of her sex at this point, and our doula asked to announce- we had our little girl! Noah Grace was finally here.
 
My midwife wanted me out of the pool right away as she was a bit concerned of hemorrage. I made it to the bed, with lots of help from the team, and there we stayed for over an hour- just marveling at this miracle. She nursed right away.
 
So peaceful. Incredible, and naturally glorious.
 
After about an hour, my placenta still had not come out. My midwife suggested a few things to get contractions starting up again, but to no avail. After the shot of Pitocin, nothing. She got concerned and said we needed to get it out NOW. I put my baby down for the first time (and she then cried for the first time) so that she could manually remove my placenta. This was more painful than the entire labor put together- compressed into 45 seconds. But then it was over, and all was well.
 
My midwive began the baby exam- she was so big, and so healthy. 10 lbs, 9 oz. Bright-eyed and beautiful in every way.
 
I am certain had I not decided to birth at home with a midwife that I would have had an entirely different pregnancy and birth experience. Without the knowledge from my midwife, I believe that I would have had gestational diabetes. If I had been "allowed" to go into labor naturally, I would have had a cesarean because of "failure to progress".
 
I knew from a young age that I would have big babies. I, myself, was 9 lbs 12 oz. I am above average as is my husband in size. God gave me "childbearing hips"  to birth the beautiful gifts He gives us.

How did you feel after the birth (first month)? I felt great, a little wobbly, the next day. We had an unforseen trip to the hospital becuase my daughter's coloring was a bit dusky (this was not at all because of the birth, but because of her larger size and the altitude in which we live). She needed oxygen for about a week and half. But the hospital kept us for 2 1/2 days so they could run every test imaginable to make sure it wasn't anything else. This was the most stressful few days of my life- it was absolute torture. To go from such a wonderful homebirth to the hospital with a staff that was uneducated about homebirth and natural ways of living was just terrible.
 
My milk took a little bit longer to come in because of the stress. I slept only 3 1/3 hours over 5 days- which delayed my healing. I had a small tear that I chose not to have sutured which did not heal properly because I had to walk more than I should have at the hospital. I should have been at home in bed with my little girl.
 
There were some events that transpired at the hospital that were traumatizing to me emotionally. My daughter needed oxygen for about a week and half and the canula in her nose was so uncomfortable for her. The tape on her face was painful. I felt helpless and like a failure. She cried a lot, and hard. All of this contributed to slow healing. Desite that though, I still felt like I healed much more quickly than many women I had talked to after their hospital births.
 
Emotionally, I felt challenged, that first month. Physically, after the first 2 weeks, I felt great.

How did you feel six months after the birth? One year? Now? At six months, I felt wonderful! At one year I felt like I needed to get in better shape to prepare for the next pregnancy. I would like to be at a more ideal weight for the next pregnancy as I want to be healthier overall. Now, 15 months postpartum, I am still at that point. Making very little progress towards my health goals, but very slowly getting there. Emotionally, I still have a very difficult time thinking about the experience at the hospital. I try not to let it over shadow the wonderful homebirth that we were blessed with. I find myself daydreaming about next time. I want another baby, I want to be pregnant again and have an even better second birth, but at the same time, I want to enjoy this precious time with my daughter!

What did you learn from this birth? That God designed me for this purpose. I am not flawed in any way. I don't need anyone to save me or tell me what to do. My body is amazing and I need to let it do what it needs to do. I learned things that I would do differently for next time- learn more relaxation, allow myself to let go and enjoy the ride instead of fighting it.

Any words of wisdom to impart? A friend of mine, three months prior to the birth of my daughter, gave birth to her daughter by way of cesarean becuase "her baby was too big". Do not blindly trust your care provider- question everything, except your intuition. Get a second opinion. Have a midwife for your care provider. Have a doula on your support team. Trust that God designed you to give birth to your child naturally. Set yourself up for success- surround yourself with individuals that will support your goals and dreams, and don't give up. If you want a natural, humanized birth- stay home!