J's Stories- 9 lbs., 4 oz. & 8 lbs., 13 oz.- Home

Son (and first born):

9 lbs., 4 oz.

21.5 inches long

"15" head (!!!!)"

Home

Mother's Height: 5'10"

my pregnancy was pretty normal- nothing much to comment on. i gained about 35 lbs.

i was a little bit uncertain about the birth...not about my ability to manage it, but just about the experience itself...after all, it was all new to me! so some apprehension about how i would react to the experience, manage pain etc.

the birth was kind of long. i woke up at 3am, 10 days after his EDD with cramps, and when i couldn't go back to sleep i eventually realized they were contractions. i woke my husband up and neither of us slept again until our son was born! dh called the midwife around 7am, and she came over about 9am to check on me. i was 1cm. talk about disappointment! and then my contractions slowed to a trickle. she suggested nipple stimulation and said she'd come back later. NS got the contractions going again- and other than the hour or so when they were slow they were 2-3 min apart and 1 min in length the entire time.  the MW came back around 5pm. i labored in water for a while, and also on the bed. MW commented that my labor was very intense, and she checked me again. 2cm. after 18 hours of labor she checked again (i begged) and i was 3cm. i cried. i couldn't believe so little was happening with such hard labor! i said i wanted to go to the hospital. my MW and husband were fabulous- they knew that i didn't REALLY want to go, but that i was exhausted and discouraged and hurting. without any talking down to me at all they suggested waiting another 2 hours and re-evaluating then. i agreed, and they were a LONG two hours! 21 hours into my labor i got in the tub again, and threw up. my MW cheerfully announced that i'd be holding my baby soon. i probably would have rolled my eyes if i'd had it in me, but of course only one of us had been present at hundreds of births over two decades, and she was the one who was correct! at that point i was 5cm dilated.

3 hours later i was fully dilated and started pushing. 90 minutes later (so 25 hours total labor and pushing) my son was born. he was big, with a big head and the cord wrapped 3 times around his neck. thankfully and amazingly it wasn't pinched and he was pink and healthy! despite my MWs best efforts at stretching, massage and support i did tear and required about 15 stitches.

recovery was a little tough. i could barely walk for a week or two, i bled for 8 weeks, and wasn't really feeling myself for a couple of months. but i have to say, my successful first birth at home of a big baby more than made up for it!

i feel great about my son's birth (he's 4 1/2 years old now). it was hard, but i feel certain i'd have ended up with a c/s had i been in the hospital, and i really didn't need one!

what i learned from the experience was that "normal" births don't have a standard length of time! some of us are slow starters, but that doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong with mom or baby. also, birth can be difficult, and that's OK. i feel like i read a lot of birth stories (esp homebirth stories) that focus on feelings of power/empowerment/"waves" not "pain" etc...and those really are beautiful to read. but i didn't experience any of those things during my births. i felt powerful after they were born, but during i mostly felt...labor. and a determination to do what i knew i could and believed to be right, even if it did hurt.

Daughter:

8 lbs., 13 oz.

20.5" long

14.5" head

Home

also a normal pregnancy. we lived in brooklyn and i was very, very hot that summer!

this time i knew a bit what to expect for the birth. we'd moved cross country so i had a new MW. i told her my labor would probably be slow. and it was, kind of. but so much faster! my daughter was sunny side up and after 9 hours of hard labor i was feeling kind of over it all, but wasn't fully dilated since she wasn't positioned as effectively as she might have been (i must say i handled the pain much differently this time, too...it helped me so much to know what to expect. i baked scones when my contractions were 2 min apart!). since i was close to dilated my MW held my cervix open the rest of the way so i could push. again, due to my daughter's positioning pushing wasn't as optimized as it could have been, but after 45 min she rotated and slipped out into the world. it was amazing. i didn't tear and i felt wonderful, and grateful for the entire experience! i was up and about and moving normally the next day.