BIRTHQUAKE!
Sunday, April 25, 2010 at 6:58PM
By Jill—Unnecesarean
OK, everyone get pregnant today and in nine months, we’ll all give birth in front of a hospital with a cesarean rate of 50% or higher.
Tomorrow’s Boobquake started as a blog-post-gone-superviral by Purdue student Jennifer McCreight to demonstrate to Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi that male glimpses of breastesses do not cause adultery or earthquakes, as the cleric claimed.
Is there anything that could go wrong with hundreds or thousands of women getting pregnant and giving birth on a hospital lawn simultaneously to show them that the world will not end if babies come out of vaginas? It’s a flawless plan. What could possibly go wrong with it? Plus, “Birthquake” rhymes with “earthquake,” which erases the lack of relevance of the “quake” part.
You are all so welcome. What would you do without my fantastic ideas?
Reader Comments (14)
Aah! Bewbies! O_o
I recently heard that on average an American boy sees porn for the first time at age 11. If seeing breasts causes earthquakes, sweet Jeebus, hang on because there's a big 'un fixing to happen in every junior high in the country.
Also, girl, if I were married you KNOW I'd be all over this. What better reason to have a baby? Really! ;)
Ha ha! That's correct. There is no better reason to get pregnant.
Also, just wait for it. Someone will read this post and not get that it's farcical.
Forwarding to my husband....NOW. I'll let you know how it goes.
set up a bigass red tent in the parking lot, replete with birth tubs. food vendors welcome.
The difference between Dr. Amy trying to be funny-sarcastic and Jill trying to be funny-sarcastic is ... Jill is funny.
And then you have JMT, who made me snort. :)
Even if we can't get our timing together, I bet just ONE woman birthing on a hospital lawn would get plenty of attention.
Ooh, I'm loving the jacuzzi-equipped red tent idea!
I will let my DH know that we HAVE to have another baby, just to partake in the birthquake! I love it. :)
Only one problem with the plan ~ how do we get all those babies to decide to come at the same time? :-)
Oh well...still, a FUNNY post!
Maybe participation in Boobquake will lead husband to unwittingly consent to our participation in Birthquake. I'll keep you posted ; )
I do not think my wife would appreciate me helping this cause.
LOL! But wait... are some of you saying this plan is not perfect? Dang.
I don't usually comment but this is AWESOME! And I'm so in:)
I third the birth tub and food on the lawn idea;)
I'm due September 22nd. Who's with me? Where's the nearest hospital to Utah with a 50% C-sec rate? (there were none in Utah over 20% in 2007, thank God, I'd like to spread that love to other states)
Oh, and regarding getting all the babies to come at the same time . . . we'll all just bring our husbands/significant others to have as much fabulous induction-attempt nipple-lovin' sex on those front lawns as we possibly can to get things started with a bang. =)
It's too bad it isn't more serious. I'd totally be all for it!