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This week’s open thread is hosted by Wasp Woman because Another Rachel said she should get a chance.
What’s happening? News? Thoughts? Puffy summer pregnancies to complain about?
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I'm 36 wks into a serious case of the preggers. Suddenly I feel completely encumbered by a large head wedging itself into my pelvis. Yesterday, while playing "lasso the foot" with my underwear I heard a creaking noise, and it turned out to be my pelvis, not the old wooden floor. Ouch. So in this crazy heat in the Northeast (I live in VT, why is it 100 degrees?) I am simply maintaining. Cereal for dinner anyone?
"When I, or others, raise concerns about the logical or scientifically based reason for that arbitrary cut-off date, she says she is totally fine with it and doesn't wish to argue it with her provider or change providers."
I had this friend too. And when I gently but relentlessly pushed to get underneath this, it turned out that she was secretly relieved at the idea of being able to get out of the VBAC. She knew she was supposed to want to VBAC, but she was frankly scared of vaginal birth, scared of tearing, scared of incontinence. She had had a relatively uncomplicated and easy recovery from her c/s. It was the devil she knew, where "the damage was already done." Why risk a new scar "down there" instead of using the old one in her abdomen?
I can't fathom this myself, being quite rationally phobic of knives and needles and tubes and machines that go ping, but this woman had her own deep-seated fears she didn't want to admit to. And she had a story she was telling the world to cover for the fact that she kinda knew that what she wanted was flying in the face of the evidence and maybe the best possible health outcome for herself and baby.
To Meghan- Just had to mention my own sister story and tell ya I feel your pain! I had a CNM for my first (and 2nd and 3rd) pregnancy, and stayed pregnant until 42 weeks exactly. My sister, (the doctor), spent the last two weeks of my pregnancy explaining to me (an L&D nurse with 3 years of experience at the time!!) and OUR MOTHER!! that I was killing the baby and would be lucky if he came out alive. I mean, to the point my mom was calling me up and expressing her concern about mine and my husband's (a Family Medicine doctor BTW!) judgment, and that we really should be induced. I had seen too many 1st pregnancy inductions not go well, so until 42 weeks no way, no how for me! But if I hadn't been an L&D nurse married to a FM doc who was experienced with midwives and knew I was right, the guilt and pressure probably would have made me cave. The result- at 42 and 1 day my 10lb 12oz son was born vaginally after 24 hours of active labor (and a couple of threats of CS, but I was midwife protected and very determined!). Came screaming into the world and actually had gained weight on discharge (breastfeeding on demand). Family can make things hard, but believe in what you know to be true!! I still love my sister, and managed to not kill her those weeks mostly by avoiding her, which is why my mom started bugging us. Good luck in all things!!
I learned a long time ago - both from dealing with and BEING the pushy "This is what you need to do at your birth" person - that no one wants to listen to other people's opinions. I don't care what my SIL thinks about how I'm raising my children, my cousin doesn't want to hear why she should pursue a VBAC. The normal human reaction is to stop listening. Even in my CB classes, I don't ramble on about what I think, I let the students relate the information back to themselves and their own experiences. Whatever else childbirth is, it should be personal and deeply relevant to ourselves before anything else.
KK- I was a little like that with my first VBAC. He came at 37 weeks, so I don't really know what I would have done at 40 wks, but I might have given in to a RCS. It wasn't until I had that VBAC, which was pretty tramatic actually, that I realized what I really wanted in a birth. My CS wasn't fun (scheduled for breech at 40 wks), and I knew I didn't want that again, but it wasn't as tramatic as my VBAC. I'm now 5 weeks along with my third, have switched to a midwife practice and am excited and nervous for how this birth will go. I obviously have a lot of time to prepare and think about it. I'm just trying to think positively.
Emily, that was a memory I was happy to forget... waking up my family with my popping pubic symphysis. It's like it echoed throughout my body!
I wish pregnant northeasterners could get an exemption from the heat this year. Not sure who I would petition, though.
I am at 38 wks with #3, will probably go until between 40 and 41 wks based on my history, and am so BEYOND done being pregnant. Now, I'm not demanding an induction or anything what with my deeply held convictions and a midwife group that would just laugh at me if I asked, but damn it's a good reminder of why it's so easy to sway women into an induction by this point. I mean seriously, no wonder OBs are all "but women ask for it!" well OBVIOUSLY they do, the end of pregnancy SUCKS. Sadly, they aren't willing to act in women's best interests (though, my OB group with Kid #1 wouldn't even let me take anything stronger than Tylenol for my KIDNEY STONES, so obviously if it's not their convenience we're talking about they're more than willing to take the hard-assed route).
I feel a bit better. I could definitely go for some labor action starting asap, but getting that rant out helped a bit. ;-)
I wish I had pregnancy complaints :( The baby I miscarried in Dec would have had an EDD of 8/11... my birthday. I would love to have had a summer pregnancy/birth. Now we are having trouble conceiving and I don't have insurance to see an RE, nor do I really want to use clomid or anything anyway.
Other than that, I have been trying to remove myself from the birth world for the summer. Focusing on the kids, our new little house and living in the moment.
I'm happy that a friend has decided to have a home birth! I hope I helped her make the decision, but I didn't want to push her. Like Me is dealing with, I guess, you just have to lay some stuff out gently and then go. No women should birth where she's scared to be, period, whether that's home, hospital, or turnpike. :) I know with my third that there were about 2 weeks where I thought I'd have to be in hospital, and those were two really terrifying weeks for me. Fortunately, it all turned around and baby 3 came at home too.
Generally, though, I'm just biding my time for the next two weeks so I can write all this stuff floating about in my head, but that needs more than 5 random minutes on a Tuesday to get complete! Ah! Bar exams! Ah!
Wow! Good luck to all of the pregnant women, big hugs to Vanessa, and good luck on the Bar, ANA!
Also, I should know by now not to self-medicate with peanut butter brownies. Sigh.