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OBs, Midwives, Lies and I Have No Idea How to Title This Post



It’s been about four years since I embarked on this here journey to figure out what the hell the problem is with maternity care in the United States. I’ve been down a few roads and back, tried on a few frameworks and took them off in favor of cruising around the interwebs naked and now have my mind set on (read: am obsessed with) a different way of tackling the problem using research that’s been around for decades.

Here are a few things I have learned, and I have learned them in a pretty unique manner, mostly in the last year or two. If a person is going to flat-out lie to your face, either to keep you around as a patient or to inflate their competence as a care provider, they’re going to do that whether OB or midwife because some people lie. Some people don’t recognize that they themselves are lying because they have come to believe their own bullshit and live in La-La Land and there’s no sense in trying to convince them to leave. Every population has a subset of liars, and at 38, it’s probably high time I accepted that sometimes people just plain lie and it’s not caused by or indicative of their profession. They’d be blowing smoke up your butt if they were a contractor or a politician. Best thing to do if things consistently don’t add up? Find a new care provider with your best interest, not just theirs, in mind and be happy.

At this point, I can’t decide whether the battle between OBs and midwives is funny or pathetic. I am sure that the majority of each are pretty content to work together and can logically appreciate what the other brings to the table in terms of a holistic approach to maternity care even if their philosophical underpinnings differ in some areas. I can’t help but chuckle now when I read some midwives talking as if the OB-GYN caused the fall of the Roman Empire and I guffaw when I read ACOG materials that refer to “collaboration with nurses and OTHER HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONALS.” Ah, yes. The “M” word is so totally gross.

I have decided that if I ever have another kid, I am going to go with a veterinarian as a care provider. Since I’m not a fancy purebred type, I don’t have to worry about having a c-section planned for my litter as is the trend for many breeds. I like that they can perform a cesarean, have extensive medical training and know how to just leave a bitch alone.


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Reader Comments (17)

Am I allowed to LOL if I am a CNM sitting in a high risk conference with OB's while reading this? Cause I did:)

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercourtney

Nice! Perfect venue. Thanks for reading. :)

May 18, 2012 | Registered CommenterJill

Amen sistah.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDana

Bahahahaha..."know how to just leave a bitch alone." I'm on a teleconference for work and forgot to mute before I snorted. Wish we were neighbors 'cause I'd totally make you have coffee with me once a week to make me laugh.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela Quinn

I have no doubt in my mind that this is a big part of why some folks go the UC route. With all of the lies, denial, inter-professional warfare, and refusal to implement evidence-based care, plus the average family's tiny income as a limitation - there are places where a mom has no better care option than self-reliance.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdsmythe

Angela, yes! But only if you will teach me how to write better, you tiny wordsmith.

May 18, 2012 | Registered CommenterJill

dsmythe, that makes sense. Sounds like the breakdown in trust in the patient-provider relationship is pretty pervasive in other areas of medicine, too.

May 18, 2012 | Registered CommenterJill

Oh, please! You're a better writer than I am, hands down.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAngela Quinn

dsmythe, that's exactly why I've had two unassisted.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkaren

Love. It.

May 18, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMomTFH
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